CAN YOU AFFORD TO LIVE HERE?

In my previous posts I mentioned the facts that Vancouver is the most beautiful and the least fashionable city in the whole world!    Now, a recent newspaper article has confirmed what we have long suspected: Vancouver is also the second most expensive city to live in - second only to Hong Kong (source:" Demographia International Housing Affordability Survey").



Was our judgement impaired when we decided to move here? For the fourth time in our life together we moved to an expensive place. First it was Sydney, then London, Bussum (a village in one of the most affluent areas in The Netherlands) and now Vancouver! We, the most price conscious of all couples, are attracted to expensive metropoles!

Let me clarify one thing, we don't live in the city per se. We live in the lower mainland area. Here, houses are affordable, nature is found in abundance and the Municipality is still debating if it is wise to put up street lights or proper road striping ( or side walks or cycle paths for this matter).



Over the years we have learned one thing: It is not the outside ( i.e. reputation), it is the inside ( i.e. quality of life) that counts and we are attracted to.

Where else can we ski, play golf and go swimming on the same day? Personally, I haven't lived through this particular scenario yet- the simple reason is, I don't play golf!.

After one joyful afternoon of reckless swinging, lost balls, many loose gras patches and a phenomenal high score I was rendered the 'loser'. That was it for me - I like to score high in order to win - the concept of low scores is nothing for me.

Can we afford to live here? Yes we can! Let me show you why: This is our 'backyard', sort of:

 A 45 minute car ride away you will find this:

 and this:



Living in and around Vancouver: As expensive or affordable as you wish - and always extra-ordinary!

ROLLER DERBY ANYBODY?

The message on my phone read:

"Hey crazy ladies, who wants to roller derby? Just saw an mssg. that they are looking for newbies and having an open house tonight. Just think about the outfits."



The last sentence was all I needed to know to sell this outing to me.

As far as I remember, Teutons don't do roller derby- we watch that spectacle on TV, if at all. Mind you, the last time I checked was 25 year ago, a thing or two might have changed since then.



Our Ridge crew left with high expectations for the introduction night ahead. Our husbands had even higher ones. They already pictured themselves, beer can in hand, cheering on sweaty, gorgeous, fighting women (their wives)! Nothing better than a good derby fight on rollerblades to put the man in a good mood!



We wanted to see busty Amazon women in fancy, shiny, flimsy outfit! We wanted a fantasy come true, - the one where normal women escape motherhood and turn into sexy, rolling vixen! We expected 'butch', we experienced a heartfelt welcome.

Round and round we went on our borrowed equipment- the last time I stood on these babies was 37 years ago- nowadays I skate on inliners. Yes, I go with the times.



At the end of the evening we chickened out- and not because we got dizzy going around or got bored rolling around in circles. We watched the scrimmage and knew straight away, this is not for us. The team was pushing, falling, overtaking each other, taking the corners on squeaky wheels. They sure looked competent, forceful and seemed to have fun. The girls knew what they were doing, they already put in long hours of practice!



All of us decided we don't want to get hurt, therefore we are out of the picture! We are wimps, with a capital W. We see ourselves as head of our family- any broken bones on our body and this whole, fine oiled institution called family will stop functioning- or so we think.

In our own world we are tough, macho mothers, protecting castle, kids and dogs. If you make us roll around on these devices our facade will crumble. We are vulnerable, no thank you. We prefer to keep the illusion alive. And yes, call us sissies!



We decided to find a good old-fashioned roller disco somewhere around here, with disco ball and funky tunes. Here we will go around in circles again, but without the fear of getting slammed against the wall!

 

 

IT is NOT as SIMPLE as it SOUNDS

Sometimes a father and his sons need bonding time - the activity of choice was a trip to a Walmart Supercentre for a delightful, deal seeking afternoon of happy spending. It was the perfect opportunity for a Me, Myself and I time at the comfort of our own home.

The last item on my compiled shopping list was a 'good priced ($ 10.00), waterproof mascara'. This is a simple enough item to buy- so I though -  and started filling up the bathtub.



Unbeknownst to me I sent my poor guys on a wild goose chase around the vast isles of the beauty department. Faced with the impossible task to make his wife happy (to find the right product at the right price), I received a desperate phone call from within the cosmetics section:"What colour did you say you wanted, brown, black or blue?"



One minute late the phone rang again:"What exactly do you want to achieve? Thicker, longer. more defined and separated leshes? Or rather 'glossy, big,. bold, natural lashes?'

Another phone call later I was asked:"Would you like the 'fusion edition?', the 'mega power', the Çolossus'or rather the eye brightening effect?'

I haven't been asked that many questions about a product since I first started buying nappies. But I love the fact that Dominic takes his task serious! And yes, he succeeded with this impossible task. He came home with a $6.99 black, waterproof device that promises to 'deliver the million Dollar look!' Don't you just love a man who thinks like you do?

My point is? Just a reminder that we are surrounded by an abundance of choices (but you knew that already)! Apart from that: We are all sales people! Take the product developers, marketers and professional sales folks aside. On a daily basis we are 'selling ourselves', aka our personality, to get something fixed, exchanged, borrowed, agreed upon, cancelled, excused, extended... you see my point. The real reminder is, we all have something unique within us! If we know what it is and use it properly, our I - Brand becomes extra-ordinary!

Or in more simple terms: Ladies, if you are in need of a peaceful afternoon, send your family shopping - make a long list and add one ímpossible' item to find. Learn from my mistake and give explicit, detailed instructions on the product you desire - or switch off your phone!.

HELP! I NEED ANOTHER HUSBAND

Only dairy farmers or bakers need to apply!

The successful candidate must be able to supply an endless amount of dairy products - preferable milk - and baked goods; staked high to satisfy the on going hunger of four teenage boys.



I honestly thought buying nappies, formula milk or baby food in jars was bad enough. Years later I get a rude awakening: Our children changed from the cute, chubby, helpless little creatures into independent, strong willed, still cute (but different cute) young men, with a huge appetite!

Our new house came with one fridge and skinny freezer only. The boys empty them at a faster rate than I can restock them!



These days you can find me either on the way to the grocery store, in the grocery store or on my way home. Once at home I get ready to bake muffins, cookies, brownies or pancakes. I even took up yogurt making.

Joey, our Korean exchange student, can eat for three! Furthermore, he literally drinks our ketchup bottles empty; he fears Heinz will stop producing them shortly.  At first I thought he doesn't like my cooking because he puts the sauce on everything. But even I have to admit,  my cooking isn't that bad either;  Joey simply loves the taste of ketchup.

The two most common questions I have to answer on a regular basis are: "When are we eating dinner?" and "What are we eating later on?"  Of course, there is nothing wrong with being asked these questions, it's just very frustrating to answer them right after the boys wolfed down their afternoon meal of French toast or toasties (melted cheese).

If Dominic agrees to change our marital status from 'couple' to 'quadruple', I will search for a legitimate religious order which allows women to have three men. If the google search will be unsuccessful I need to settle this matter once and for all: I am sure there will be another mid-term sale coming up soon and I will get myself a bread maker, a waffle iron, an ice-cream maker, a second fridge and freezer, big sacks of flour and a cow for the backyard.

Right now a song pops into my head. The one where Marilyn Monroe sings about "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend". Easy for her to sing, she never had children....

To HYPHEN or not to HYPHEN?

For the longest time I refused to use facebook (fb) on the grounds that anybody who knows me knows where to find me; and if somebody really wanted to get hold of me, they would figure out a way to find me.

Until our move to Canada I never saw the necessity to put myself into cyber world. Now, thousands of kms away from our previous bases, I definately enjoy chuckles with long lost mates from around the world. Anybody can find me by putting in my name into the search engine.

Yesterday, during my quick update on fb, I noticed the following: Lots of women (NO men!!!) have reinvented themselves with a hyphen. The woman I used to know as Janet Mulder is now Janet Mulder - Rachmaninov. Or Susan van Brink is now Susan van Brink - om de Hook op de Berg!

A hyphen? This is something I don't get! Why have a hyphened last name? To me, a hyphened name is right up there with being engaged. What kind of concept is being engaged anyway? You want to let the world know you are off the market, you hold on to what you got but deep down you hope for something better to come along?



Coming back to the hyphen; what is wrong with choosing only one name (yours or your husband's) and stick to it? Is your marriage in crisis; is this your first step to warn the world "I am getting out of here?", is this your first step towards liberation or independence?

Personally, I decided to stick to my maiden name. Having a last name like WASCHKO is not the easiest name to grow up with. Children can be so cruel and they called me WASCHKU, Waschikowski, Waschfrau or Waschakaka! Let me tell you, I hated my parents to burden me with a name like this.  It was hell growing up.. But later on, I came to appreciate and even love the uniqueness of that name. I built my identitiy around it, this is who I am, it made me strong! Needless to say, I kept my name after getting married (never engaged!). NO hyphen for me!



Having a hyphened name looks to me like being indecisive of who you are and what you want. You love your husband, but not too much therefore you need to keep your own name too?

I decided to get a second opinion on this matter. My trusted source of inspiration sat right at the dinner table: Dominic, husband par excellence, born and raised in one of the Southers States of America (this makes him somewhat a traditionalist).. Hence, his first answer to my question "Why would you take on your husbands name", was "It is tradition for the woman to take on her man's name."

Oops, did I hear any resentment that I remained a WASCHKO? If there was a sign of hurt pride in the beginning, it is all forgotten by now. I 'compensated' him for letting me keep my name by giving birth to three sons -  and all three boys carry his name!

The second item Dominic brought up was, independence! With a hyphen a woman is breaking the tradition and is claiming part of her independence back. But here is another question: Are you more independent now than at the beginning of your marriage? Women are as well educated and qualified (or even better) than some of our men - might there be a new women's movement on the horizon?

And,  I nearly forgot, the last thing Dominic mentioned was: "If women add their maiden name to their married name it is much easier for long lost friends to find them on facebook!

Here we have it, I am getting worked up for nothing, I even let my opinionated self shining through! Apologies to my lady friends, you are not indecisive! All you want is to be is found on facebook!

What do you think: Hyphen or no hyphen? Tradition or no tradition?

CRAZY DOG PEOPLE

In a far away country, a very long time ago, I promissed our boys "to get a dog when you are older, when mom isn't working any more, when we have a big backyard, when we have lots of nature around us and, when we move to Canada."  All these things happened and I am running out of excuses. But still, no dog yet. But our friend Jaci bought one recently.   Here is her  written attempt to lure me into the -extra-ordinary- world of (crazy) dog people:

My husband and I swore we would not get a dog with three young kids already in tow. Yet here we are, with our zoo (ages 3,6 and 8) and a 5 month old girl puppy-dog whom we adore. We are still keeping it real in our household. She doesn't sleep in our bed and I don't let her lick me on the lips, but I must admit that she is a worthy addition to our family. I like to think the reasons were simple, but the truth is, we discussed it, researched it and tried to talk ourselves out of it all summer. What really inspired me was meeting a dog in the neighbourhood that I really liked; it was this particular breed that drew us in.



I like most dogs, but I wouldn't want to own many of them. Drooly, shedding, stinky, yappy ones do not really appeal to me. That is why we got ourselves a designer dog. She is none of those things, so she fits in perfectly! We found a great Goldendoodle breeder on Vancouver Island, dropped some ridiculous, but so worth it - money and never looked back!



The week the kids went back to school I went with my 3 year old daughter to pick her up at the airport and we started our journey as a family of 6. It was a special day for all of us. My husband ended up feeling as though the void he always felt over the missing (undetermined) fourth baby was finally filled. He crawled in her crate and fall in love right away. As for myself, I have vowed to never be a crazy dog lady. Instead, I resisted the urge to swaddle her in a blankie and focused on crate training. I fell quickly into the usual mom routine - eat-sleep-poop- repeat. It felt like I had another baby, but only for a week or so.



Aside from the expected puppy antics, Sparrow (named after Jack Sparrow, not the bird) is a good dog. We think. She rarely gets into mischief aside from attacking the recycling bin in the pantry, stealing ham out of the kid's sandwiches, or knocking over the odd menstruated garbage bin. House training was kind of a breeze, considering this is what scared me the most.

Now that we are five months in, life with a dog couldn't be better.We are all outside more and much more active as a family. We don't expect our kids to do all that much for the dog, but we hope they learn this over time as they become older and more capable. The work part is up to us and we have to love it. For parents, it is natural to want to satisfy our children's burning desires to have a dog and to then expect them to carry a large part of the responsibility.



My kids are pretty smitten with their dog but that doesn't mean they are ready to hit the backyard with a pooper scooper in tow. Sometimes my son walks her for 4 minutes, but they both come back with a smile, so that is enough in itself. The poop piles in the back yard are multiplying rapidly, and I am not going to lie, it is a chore that none of us have really owned as of yet. I think it is a man job, yes?

Are we good dog owners? Nah. We recently made a New Year's resolution for 2013 that we will finally get that cream 'on her parts' as this is an area that can become irritated in furry dogs (the vet gave it to us 3 months ago). One of these days I will muster up the courage to do it. It has become a bit of a maritial dispute around here. Nobody really wants to touch it!

Jaci Botterman

VACATION TIME

These are our last days of our school vacation.. What better reason is there to reflect upon holidays?

Dear Holiday,
I love you as an institution; I love you for what you stand for: A well deserved period of fun and relaxation after a period of hard work.

Memories of days long past come floating back; long, lazy days filled with sweet nothing. During our school holidays back in the days, when I was a young girl, we didn't have a computer at home. My parents couldn't afford to go away during each vacation. German TV at that time only had three channels, our kid's entertainment started at 5.10pm, and ended at 7pm.

We had a big yard and my brother and I had enough willing neighbours to play with us. Time spent at home during school holidays is a pleasant blur. We read books, went on bike rides and later on a teenagers, we still went on bike rides, just a little bit further away.



Did we drive my mom crazy?  I don't think so. This lady has a talent to keep herself - and others, busy. Always has been, always will be. Obviously, I asked her this question, several times even. And always the same response: "Oh, I really don't remember, that is so long ago!" Our dad was mostly at work'; we definately didn't drive him crazy.

Dear Holiday, as a working woman I cherish you to charge up replenished batteries -  we all need a rest once in a while.

Dear Holiday, in my current state and carreer as a mother of four, you are driving me crazy!

Holiday time at home is luxury and fun during the first three days. The luxury of staying up late, getting up even later and slouching in ones PJ's can't be stressed enough. Holiday time frees me up from a demanding taxi service four nights a week to bring any one of the boys to soccer practise. At least now I can design my own evening entertainment.

Any longer than three days and anarchy takes over!

Mrs. Holiday, I hold you responsible to turn our life upside down, to let our well rehearsed, well established routine fall into pieces. Nothing makes sense anymore. If I don't offer our boys a list of activities ( e.g. ice-skating, movies, skiing, trail walking), they are more than happy to roll out of their bed straight onto the comfy couch in our men den to start on the xbox.

We are getting up way too late, we don't know if we should eat breakfast or lunch, our dishes are pilling up in the sink. It's driving me crazy!

Dearest holiday, I appreciate you as a wonderful opportunity to experience daily life in a more extra-ordinary fashion these days. But as you know, all good things have to come to an end. This is what happens to all good or bad things, they have to end. The good thing about bad things coming to an end is that we have the chance to start fresh again.

The good things, like holidays, need to come to an end too; otherwise we wouldn't enjoy and appreciate them so much!

Therefore, on Monday my children will be sad that you are over, but I will be happy! Life as I know it will be upon us-again!

FACETIOUS BUGGERS

My fellow participants at the party only shrugged and laughed at me when I enquired about their new years resolutions. Oh you facetious "know-it-alls"!

But it rings true, at our age ( 35 and up)  we all have walked the path of broken promises too many times before. By now we know to keep our mouth shut! The trend among our party crowd is to be the best parent, employer, employee, neighbour, daughter, son, friend or aquaintant we can be on a daily basis..

New years eve is now an excuse for a fun filled get-together and for the children a great reason to stay up late; not the big divide between the old and new anymore.

During our traditional new years run Dominic put it more eloquently: "We are still young enough to hope ( for mankind, our planet and ourselves) and old enough to know better."

This is a short, sweet, simple and extra-ordinary message, wouldn't you agree?

On a personal level I decided to experience 52 new 'ideas' during the 12 months ahead. My book will be launched in mid January and I made a firm commitment to myself to do as many public speaking engagements, book signings and presentations as I can to get this book on the bestsellers list on Amazon ( Any tips and strategies from you are welcome and much appreciated)! This alone will take care of most of these 52 new experiences.



Nevertheless, there are a few, very different and oh so personal challenges on the list. Here are two of them:

To sing karaoke in a pub and to do a

back flip off a diving board or in the grass, which ever strikes me the easiest.

(Any tips and strategies from you are welcome and much appreciated)!

My inability to sing karaoke bothers me for years. I have no problem to talk in front of a crowd or teach aerobics classes, but when it comes to singing in public my neurotransmitters refuse to connect with their appropriate connectors accordingly.

And the back flip? Ever since I've seen circus artists perform their magic I wanted to do the same- but so far I never did!

I made a promise to myself to look after these two 'shortcomings' in my life.             2013 will be the year to make it happen!